“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

“To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.”

“I saw a stationery store move.”

“If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn’t have given us arms.”

“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.”

“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.”